it hurts more in the daytime
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're a waste of cheezeits
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
