Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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