Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
