yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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