New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All the doctor said was why
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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