Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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