You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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