honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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