Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
