hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize