Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Farmville is her only friend.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
