My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
