pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
FUCK WHALES
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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