ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We need to get me chipped asap
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
