Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
