If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
