So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
