i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
