weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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