I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
