I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're a waste of cheezeits
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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