The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
