I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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