You're my little dorito
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
