I cannot find my penis.
Just cropdusted the office
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
