with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
