too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
