I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I know her cup size but not her name....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
