i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
FUCK WHALES
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