my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
