I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize