i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
