i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
