Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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