It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
