Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
