Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize