I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
