just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
