shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
