WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
