just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
