im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
