Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
