its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
