im gay
i know
yea but for you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
