and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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