please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
