Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
