somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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