I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
