I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
