He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
