..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i think my cat just said my name.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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