Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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