were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Say something about gay babies.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
