wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
