How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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